WHAT A TRAGEDY. With Heavy Hearts, We Announce The Passing
|“I
brought my daughter into the world and took her out of it.”
As
I held Deborah’s hand as she took her last breath, I was both sad and relieved.
My beautiful whirlwind of a girl was gone, and so was her pain.
It’s
hard to be a mom to a dead child every day, but tomorrow is especially hard.
Even
though one of my children has died, I’ll always be a mom of three. But today,
I’m thinking about my 16-year-old and 14-year-old grandchildren, Hugo and
Eloise, who have lost their wonderful mother.
It’s
not okay for them to send her a card or gift or just let her hug them.
Today,
like every day for the past 21 months, all I can do is love them and be there
for them.
Five
and a half years after being told she had bowel cancer, my oldest daughter,
Dame Deborah James, died. She was 40 years old.
It’s
still hard to believe that the world has gone on without her. She was such a
force of nature from the time she was a little girl.
Deborah
was diagnosed in December 2016, when she was 35 years old and had two kids,
ages 9 and 7.
She
was a healthy, active young woman who didn’t smoke or eat meat. But she was
losing weight, having bloody stools, and feeling tired.
At
first, it was thought to be stress or IBS, so hearing that she had bowel cancer
was very upsetting.
But
I thought she would have surgery and chemotherapy and then be fine again soon.
There
were more tests and a few weeks passed before I was shocked to hear that the
cancer was in its fourth stage.
Deborah
was brave and determined, which didn’t surprise me at all; that was just how
she was.
She
didn’t just want to deal with her own illness; she also wanted to help other
people.
She
wanted to shout from the rooftops about cancer, its symptoms, and how important
it is to pay attention to your body.
“She
wished the world were a better place for her kids.”
She started writing a column for The Sun and started the Bowelbabe blog soon
after she was told she had cancer.
After
that, she co-hosted the popular podcast You, Me, and the Big C, worked with The
Sun to lower the NHS screening age, encouraged people to get checked, and
talked about poop whenever she could.
Her
kids were the most important thing in her life. To make things better for Hugo
and Eloise, she wished. She pictured a time when they wouldn’t have to worry
about getting cancer.
The
Bowelbabe Fund, one of her biggest and last projects, was based on that idea.
In
the weeks before she died, she set it up to pay for cancer research and help
find new ways to treat the disease.
She
knew her time was running out, so she gave it everything she had.
That
being said, Deborah’s legacy is much bigger than the work she did and the lives
she saved and still saves.
The
best thing she gave us all was advice on how to live.
I
see this in her children: she made the most of every day and found joy in every
little thing. Her passion and energy are shared by both of them.
She
told them to live a good life the weekend before she died.
She
said, “You...